Mother Russia no more

In Russia there are now more abortions performed every year than births. It seems like the combined forces of communism, which ruined Russia's economy and morality, Secularism, and Poverty have conquered the former superpower. Even after the fall of the Soviet Union, we see that all of Europe has become more and more the same. Russia, just like the rest of Eastern Europe, is plagued by low birth rates, sluggish economies, Muslim terrorists. Russia still has a stranglehold on bad weather and former leaders with little goatees.

See if you can pass yourself off as Lenin or Joey from Friends.